Starting Small ~ Planting Seeds of Motherhood

"Train up a child in the way he should go:

and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

~ Proverbs 22:6

The world is wise enough to know that a young child is a very impressionable child. This is why the education system continues to fight to get our children into schools at a younger age. The advantage of mothers is that they can use this opportunity to advance the kingdom of God.

I recently found this little book in our archives and thought to share it with you today. "When I'm Mommy: A Little Girl's Paraphrase of Proverbs 31" by Ginger Adair Fulton is a wonderful tool to aid aspiring homemakers. Many mothers wonder when the right time is to instill the Keeper at Home/Proverbs 31 values.

Today is the day... for every book they read and every video they watch, is already instructing them in some way. Be purposeful with what you share with your maidens for everything contains a message (Be discerning. For example, do they devaluate motherhood? Etc...). What you expose your daughter to at a young age will make a huge impact in their adult lives. It is forming their worldview. 

We shy away from books where the main characters are disrespectful to elders, are demanding and spoiled (lacking parental instruction), use inappropriate words such as "stupid" and contain trendy lifestyles that the author would portray as normal (picture if you will a little one wearing earphones, listening independently to worldly music while ignoring the family, obnoxiously chomping on gum, dressed like the latest rock star).

When you see affordable, picture books with a godly message, it is also fun to think creatively with them to make the moment more enjoyable. You can create a curriculum of sorts. A book like this can be a coloring book. Read a page a day as a Bible lesson, cut out the pictures and make a "beautiful girlhood" scrapbook. Memorize and copy the corresponding verses, decorate them in pretty colors, glue down ribbons and other fancies to make for a fun craft.

I encourage you to spend time with your daughter, learning about their Creator and their biblical role now. The books we choose are vital. Tomorrow will be here quicker than you can imagine and your little girl will be a young lady.

For our favorite beautiful and biblical picture books, visit the list here.

For the beautiful benefits of mothers and daughters reading together, visit here.

For our Regal Reading List, visit here.

This post may be shared with some or all of the following link-ups: Modest Mom Monday's, Teach Me Tuesday, Domestically Divine Tuesday, Raising Homemakers, Wise Woman Link Up, Homemaking Thursdays and Deep Roots at Home. Thank you lovely ladies for hosting these. 

Spending Time with Daughters ~ Casual Mentoring

Mother with Daughters by George Harcourt

"...the utterance which his mother taught him…"

~ Proverbs 31:1b

There are so many subjects of life that we must pass on to our daughters. Sometimes this is done in a formal setting and at a designated time. Sometimes we teach our daughters as we read to them from profitable books. But often, we can overlook those casual moments of fellowship. Those moments when they just wake up and are daydreaming in bed, those moments when they are sitting comfortably on the couch and reading, those moments when they are working on handicrafts or sewing. 

"And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:

And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children,

and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house,

and when thou walkest by the way,

and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up."

 ~ Deutoromy 6:6-7

These little opportunities that God gives us as we live with our daughters are very valuable. To use the modern day slang, simply "hang out" with them! One day, those gentle, impromptu conversations that seemed trivial to you, will be to your child the "utterance which mother taught". Your words will seep in slowly and with God's help, they will be absorbed into the heart and influence them toward godliness throughout their lives (Proverbs 22:6).

I encourage you (and remind my busy self) to take a few minutes each day to deliberately do nothing but "chat" with your children...

Importance of Tying Heart Strings to Our Daughters

The Mother by Frank Dicksee

"But above all these things put on love,

which is the bond of perfection."

~ Colossians 3:14

Oh Mothers, how important you are to your dear daughters! Your relationship with them has so much impact on their lives and it is the worthiest of investments to spend quality time with them. Do you want to be the one they go to when their heart is in turmoil? Do you want to be the one they share their struggles with? Do you want to be the one they confide in and ask counsel of?

Then you must begin to tie the heart strings now….

The best way to show your love is by spending time with your daughters. Life is made up of small increments of time and the mother who cultivates those moments will have the greatest influence. Bonding with your daughter now will help to ensure a beautiful relationship in the future. If you do not win their hearts now, how can you expect to receive it when the trials of life come their way? 

"Before you can teach children,

you must get the silver key of kindness to unlock their hearts,

and so secure their attention."

~ Charles Spurgeon

Activities such as tea parties together, visits to museums, picnics, board games and simply cuddling on the couch with beautiful literature are all ways to create a bond of love that will endure during those turbulent years of growing up (I will go into more detail on these activities in future posts).

Dear mothers, it is not too late. Start now. Sow the seeds, embrace the moments, make memories, and shower your dearies with affection and attention so that they will not seek the world in their time of sorrows but only the loving arms of mother.

Note: I also would encourage the same relationship with fathers to their sons.

Grandmother's Story

Grandmother's Story by Hugues Merle

"The glory of young men is their strength:

and the beauty of old men (women) is the grey head."

~ Proverbs 20:29

Hugues Merle, the painter of the picture above was French and lived between 1823-1881. Doesn't it look like he was fond of his family? Isn't this a beautiful painting with all the young ladies gathered around grandmother? Doesn't it look like she is telling a story about the man in the picture on the wall? Is it grandfather? Have you seen your grandparents lately? They have so many interesting things to share with you!

Questions for the ladies:

• Do you show the elderly in your life the same "good" attention that these ladies are showing?
• Do you know of a elderly person whom you can visit? Do so, for you will learn so much...

"I said, Days should speak,

and multitude of years should teach wisdom."

~ Job 32:7

"The silver-haired head is a crown of glory,

If it is found in the way of righteousness."

~ Proverbs 16:31 (NKJV)

Sweet Suggestion:

Make a special visit to your grandparents or aged relative and watch the past come alive. Find out what events in history they lived through and document their story to pass down to your children and grandchildren. Visit as many elderly family members as you can while they are still with us and create an scrap book album full of memories that you can share with future generations. Try to include pictures to make it personal.

"O God, thou hast taught me from my youth:
and hitherto have I declared thy wondrous works.

Now also when I am old and greyheaded,
O God, forsake me not;

until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation,

and thy power to every one that is to come."

~ Psalm 71:17-18

Benefits of Mothers and Daughters Reading Together

La Lecture by Berthe Morisot

"My son, hear the instruction of your father,

And do not forsake the law of your mother;

For they will be a graceful ornament on your head,

And chains about your neck."

~ Proverbs 1:8-9

Proverbs 1:8 in the NIV phrases it, "Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching."

As mothers, we feel like we are always teaching, preaching and lecturing (and rightly so!) which is why I wanted to share a peaceful approach to instilling values into your children. What I have found to be very beneficial, is saving some of my "little sermons" for our special reading time together.  For once you enter that world of literature, much instruction from mother can take place in a natural and non-invasive way. The bonus is all those wonderful memories being shared together with wonderful books which also imparts a broader knowledge of vocabulary, history and human nature.

Radient Morning by Lisa Auger

I am not merely speaking of daughters who can not read but more specifically, those that do. Older daughters have a lot of physical, emotional and spiritual needs which reading time with mother can help to nurture.  Reading a variety of literature, inspirational and instructional books help to place experiences and ideas in front of them prior to them experiencing them in the "real world". This is so helpful because we can not follow our children or grown daughters around all their life (though some may want to!). They are eventually going to be unleashed and alone in this wicked world. We may wonder if we taught them enough? Are they prepared for what is ahead or what situations may lie in their paths? This is where the beautiful bonding of reading together comes in!

Through the pages of noble books, we are placing thousands of different scenarios in front of our dear daughter's and, we are available at that moment to offer gentle instruction in a "should this happen to you, sort of way". We are placing a scene detailing the importance of honesty, purity, mercy or perhaps even safety before them! We are watching a character from a book being introduced into a potentially harmful situation. Or, perhaps the girl in the novel is facing a spiritual dilemma. Now, at that point, we can discuss the appropriate way to handle the obstacles that are placed before the main character in the book. What does Scripture teach about this certain situation?  This would be applicable for all ages and reading, whether it be picture books, chapter books, classics or instructional books. We have the perfect opportunity to share the wisdom of God to our children through carefully chosen literature.

Reading by James Shannon

For example, in the book, Dear Princess: A Book for Girls by Mary M. Landis, the author places some girls in a situation where they are alone, walking on a country road when a car of strange boys drive by and start to interact with them. There are many safety lessons at that point that can be discussed with your daughters. What would they have done in a similar situation? What would you suggest is a good approach to their predicament? You are able to place the seed of safety into your young maiden's heart prior to experiencing something on her own. She is that much more prepared and wise for the outside world.

When reading Beautiful Girlhood by Mabel Hale, the "Dreams" chapter beckons us to ask our daughter's to share their dreams. Have they changed since she last spoke of them?  Are they godly goals? If so, what preparations can be made in order to facilitate them? If they are lacking in noble direction, your motherly instruction described in Proverbs would be in order.

Another example would be, when reading something as pleasurable as Anne of Green Gables together, we can stop at the chapter when Anne loses her temper and hits Gilbert over the head with her slate. We can ask our daughter casually, "what would you have done?" We can talk together about a more "fitting" way to have handled that test of patience and we can laugh about how we may have wanted to handle it like Anne!

A Story Read by James Tissot

Reading together gives you the opportunity to see how your daughters react to certain circumstances. It is the perfect time to talk about situations hypothetically instead of waiting for something to happen in "real life" when you may not be available to help her. Discuss different scenarios with her so that if she ever experiences it in "real life" she has your loving insight to fall back on should the need ever arise…

Here are some Biblical minded books which will help to build a bond between you both when reading and reflecting on the words together. 

• Beautiful Girlhood: Revised by Karen Andreola by Mabel Hale (Instructional book ~ 10 and up)
• The Kings Daughter and Other Stories for Girls by J.E. White (Character building stories ~ 8-12 years)
  
• Raising Maidens of Virtue by Stacy MacDonald (Instruction book with example stories ~ 12 and up)
• Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss (Nourishing Victorian novel with many lessons for 16 years and up)
• Personal Help for Girls (Bible study with discussion questions, very Conservative and detailed ~ 9 and up)
• A Girl of Beauty by Carol Fiddler (Instructional style picture book ~ 7-11 years of age)
• View my Regal Reading List Here (Features excellent books for a variety of ages & stages.)

Don't forget that a cup of tea always nurtures a cozy and peaceful atmosphere together.

"My son, keep your father’s command,

And do not forsake the law of your mother.

Bind them continually upon your heart;

Tie them around your neck.

When you roam, they will lead you;

When you sleep, they will keep you;

And when you awake, they will speak with you."

~ Proverbs 6:20 - 22

Dear mothers and maidens, this message of teaching is written TWICE in Proverbs which only stresses the importance of passing knowledge down to your children. What better way than by your example, the influence of good and proper books and the Scriptures to guide you through life's lessons. It prompts the question in your child's mind, "What would Jesus do?" and by God's grace and your diligent instruction, the Holy Spirit will strengthen them to do it!

Mother and Daughter by George Goodwin Kilburne

It is also worthy to mention that the same concept applies to your young men as well in order to develop the character of a true, godly, courageous gentleman who will one day lead a home of his own in honor to God, and be a future husband to a godly maiden.

Linked up with the following:

Domestically Divine Tuesday

Raising Homemakers

Wise Woman Link Up

Deep Roots at Home

Pure Religion

"Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world." 

~ James 1:27

Sometimes we can get so caught up in keeping ourselves "unspotted from the world" that we forget the act of service written about which is visiting the fatherless and the widows. Why not make a special mother and maiden time once a month or so and visit some of the aging widows that God has placed in your lives? I am sure there are many in your family and in the church that would be a blessing to see. Bringing a cup of coffee or tea on the commute will make mother and maiden visiting time extra special. These moments will be spent living out your "pure religion" while creating a time of bonding and memories together. To think that one day your daughter will reflect of the good times she spent with her mother visiting those in need! What a beautiful legacy to leave...