"She Will Do Him Good" ~ The Wise Wife/Learning from Abigail Adams

Abigail Adams and granddaughter Susanna watch as a servant hangs laundry in the East Room – by Gordon Phillips

Did you know that Abigail Adams used the unfinished East Room of the White House to hang her husband's clothes. As President, she felt his laundry shouldn't be exposed for everyone to see. This showed a deep respect for her husband and a lot about her discerning character. She once said of her spouse, “When he is wounded, I bleed." What love, what affection, what passion!

"Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee…" 

~ Proverbs 2:11

In a society where many women share intimate information about their relationships via the internet, etc., I think our foremothers would be greatly distressed. In modern language, we call it being "transparent" but the old fashioned upbringing of Abigail Adams might insist that we are "airing out the laundry"!

Please continue reading at Deep Roots at Home where we are guest posting today...

This post may be shared with some or all of the following link-ups: Modest Mom Monday's, Teach Me Tuesday, Domestically Divine Tuesday, Raising Homemakers, Wise Woman Link Up, Homemaking Thursdays and Deep Roots at Home. Thank you lovely ladies for hosting these.

Choosing Wisely Before Marriage...

Till Death Do Us Part by Edmund Blair Leighton

"There must be a wise choosing before marriage, or it may be impossible to make a happy home. At few points in life is divine guidance more severely needed than when the question of marriage is decided. A mistake then will cast its shadows down all the years to the close of life. Many a career is blighted by a foolish marriage. Wedded happiness depends greatly on reverent, prayerful, deliberate, wise choosing before marriage."

The HUSBAND has his part. He must be a good man. Not every man who marries thinks of the responsibility he assumes when he takes a young girl away from the shelter of father-love and mother-love—the softest, warmest nest in the world, and leads her into a new home, where henceforth his love is to be her only shelter. Well may the woman say as she goes to the marriage altar–

"Before I trust my fate to you,

Or place my hand in thine;

Before I let your future give

Color and form to mine;

Before I peril all to thee,

Question your soul tonight for me.

Does there within your dimmest dreams

A possible future shine

Wherein your life could henceforth breathe

Untouched, unshared by mine?

If so, at any pain or cost,

Oh, tell me before all is lost."

~ J.R. Miller, Secrets of Happy Home Life

"The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord."

~ 1 Corinthians 7:39

For further reading on this subject,
you may be interested in Waiting for Shem, Ham & Japheth.

Waiting for Shem, Ham & Japheth

Return of the Dove to the Ark by Sir John Everett Millais

"On that very day Noah and his sons, Shem, Ham and Japheth,

together with his wife and the wives of his three sons, entered the ark."

~ Genesis 7:13

Regarding the Sons of Noah and the Godly Generation of Men Today

Being that the sons of Noah were believers of God, would they have fallen into the folly of marrying a woman who lacked devotion to God? They knew that hard times were coming and it was imperative to find wives that would be prepared to start civilization from scratch, with the fear of the Lord as the foundation.

Godly young men in today's society realize the importance of this soul searching as well. They know that life is a battlefield and the help meet is a huge factor that can make or break his goals for his family in the kingdom of God. 

Regarding the Daughter-in-Laws of Noah and Godly Maidens to be Married

Dear daughter-in-laws of Noah! How many lessons their lives can teach us! Let us consider today that these maiden's married godly men who provided safety in God's arms during that world wide deluge. What if they had married someone of the world? Their loved one would have perished! What if they had married that handsome charmer that they felt "sure" would eventually come to God with their "wise" management? They would have met the same fate of the others in the deep dark waters, the same fate that awaits the unbelievers in today's world.

Glean what you can from these females who found that survival in the fallen world called for a proper partner in life.  Could they have physically saved any "handsome and unsaved" man during that outpouring of water? Was any life boat they had to offer strong enough to stay afloat as the wrath of God poured out against the sinners on that day of judgment? Could their love alone have saved their spouses? I encourage you dear maidens, to prepare yourself now and wait for that God given husband who shares your fatih for floods come in many forms.

Think of the world today. There are so many similarities! The mocking of God's ways and the sin in the hearts of the people...

"And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth,

and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually."

~ Genesis 6:5

As heroines of the faith, when deciding on a husband, do not be seduced by those who are undecided or those who need you to help them "figure things out". You are not a savior. Jesus Christ is, and you are required to bound yourself with them that which He saved. Marry that God fearing man in whom you may share a place with in the ark of salvation.  Nothing is more romantic than spending the rest of your days and into heavenly eternity with the faithful husband whom you bound your life with here on earth.

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers:

for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?

and what communion hath light with darkness?"

~ 2 Corinthians 6:14

Women in the Ark Series:

Noah's Knowledgable Daughter-in-Law's

Remember Noah's Wife
Angel on my Shoulder ~ A Poem

Remember Noah's Wife

"And the LORD said unto Noah,

Come thou and all thy house into the ark;

for thee have I seen righteous before me in this generation."

~ Genesis 7:1

In the Scriptures, there is one nameless woman that speaks so passionately to me as an example of a God-fearing female, help meet to her husband, and faithful mother to her children. May I present Noah's wife... The Bible does not name her but her reputation stands strong and unblemished. She is never rebuked though never described in nature or appearance either.  One can only surmise that this woman served God with a "meek and quiet spirit" (1 Peter 3:4).  Noah's wife should be an example for all of us in the beauty of serving with a submissive spirit despite all the chaos that surrounds us. We should teach her story to our daughters and may it be a good reminder to us mothers for peer pressure from the world is a strong enemy and one that she faced daily for at least one hundred years of her life!

Have you ever considered what it would take to be Noah's help meet? Some of us may think about our current circumstances and say we have it hard living with this man we call a husband, but would you be strong enough to join your husband against the whole world? This would include her family as well for she was the only one in her lineage that was on the ark. How many times did they insult her husband and the godly lifestyle they had chosen? After spending 100 years building the ark, with everyone laughing, mocking and jeering, would you still be able to stand by your man or would you grow ashamed? Would you constantly question your husband regarding the ark? Would you create doubt in your home and continually ask, "Are you sure God told you to build an ark?" (How similar it sounds to the cunning voice in the garden so many years ago.) How much does the outside world and it's opinions affect you in your household? Whose side are you on when the comments come flying?

Today, we can read in the Scriptures the following:

"But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD." Genesis 6:8 

"But with thee will I establish my covenant; and thou shalt come into the ark, thou, and thy sons, and thy wife, and thy sons' wives with thee." ~ Genesis 6:18

But, Noah's wife didn't have access to this information nor was it mentioned that she had any personal correspondence with God in the same way her husband had. She had to decide at one point in her life if she was going to trust and obey, or question the authority of God like her relative would later do and turn back to become a pillar of salt. In Luke 7:32, we are warned to "Remember Lot's wife" and now I present to you, as an encouragement to us all, to "Remember Noah's wife." She chose to follow her husband, support him in his calling, endure the harsh words, hard work and hostile environment in that ultra wicked time.

Married Maidens & Mothers

We as women don't always know what work God is calling our husbands to. We may not even understand it. But our calling is to embrace it and to be a help meet to him (Genesis 2:18). Sadly, this is often the hardest challenge in a marriage for many women. To be in a position of looking "different" is hard. It is especially hard to endure criticism when it can come from their own dear, loved ones!  In their heart they agree with the biblical stands which were mutually made with their spouse, but they can not handle the outside pressure and begin to buckle when it does come. They are weakened at the insults thrown at her and her husband's decisions and allow it to slowly break down their once happy and united home. This is where we must "remember Noah's wife".

Single Maidens

Some of you may feel this peer pressure under the biblical leadership your father purposes for his family. This is excellent training for you to observe your mother and how she handles those awkward situations and comments for your time will come when the world questions your choices and to learn to accept being "different" now will only help to fortify you in your future role as wife.

Stand Strong

Dear reader, at some point in your Christian walk, your family decisions will be scrutinized, criticized and scorned. The world may not like the large size of your family, the way you choose to raise them, educate them or even dress them. You will get attacked verbally and sadly it may come from places you never dreamed. But, it can be no other way for it is written that "if ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you." (John 15:19).

“Fear of others will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.”

~ Proverbs 29:25

Do not let the gossip, words of malice or sarcastic comments penetrate you. Do not entertain thoughts that would make you second guess your father's biblical stand for the family or your husband's godly choices of lifestyle. Stay focused on the Scriptures for there you will find like minded people and the will of God! Many women are in agreement with the  decisions made that are based on the Word but when the testing comes they are quick to pull back and question the wisdom of following the biblical commands. They may even bring up words like "legalistic" or too much "law" when in reality they fear they are not looking like "everyone else". They are different. What we must remember is that Christ called us to be a "peculiar people"(1 Peter 2:9). We shouldn't blend in.

Sisters, our matriarch Mrs. Noah fought these same battles many years ago. Be comforted, for her family did survive to tell the story! Next time you feel distraught, frustrated and that the whole of creation seems against you and your loved ones, "remember Noah's wife"… and the shelter and safety she had from all those massive floods and fountains of water because she followed the path of God. She found that truth and security was in God and not the crowds of people around her. She knew...

"It is better to trust in the LORD

than to put confidence in man."

~ Psalm 118:8

"Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake:

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you,

and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven:

for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you."

~Matthew 5:10-12

Women in the Ark Series:

Noah's Knowledgable Daughter-in-Law's (A Lesson in Preparedness)

Waiting for Shem, Ham and Japheth (Importance of Finding a Godly Spouse)

Angel on my Shoulder ~ A Poem